Santa Barbara and a little break down

On Wednesday we had a Land Day in Santa Barbara, first to recover from the Sail passed Pt Conception, Second to enjoy Santa Barbara including the nice Marina. The Captain was able to find some spare parts at a West Marine close by and we spend the first half of the morning cleaning the boat and also ourselves. 😉

  • After we grabbed some Mexican food, Kruiser ran into some friends and went for a surf. My day wasn’t going so well, I continued processing the last 6 days. The Captain continued mentioning, how great I had been sailing, but to me it did not feel that way at all and I thought he just says it, so I wouldn’t give up. I felt helpless and confused. A bit angry at myself too for not preparing myself better, believing in the statement, you will have plenty of time to learn on the way. My brain was all over the place with different emotions. In between caring for our little man and trying to keep a straight face. But enough was enough and while Mats was running around having fun at a playground, the Captain and myself were sitting on a bench watching him and tears were running down my face. I didn’t want to be a wimp either, but the conditions we had experienced were just by far more than I had expected. Of course I had to be aware that the weather could change. But we did long long sails and got banged around non stop and that was insane, if you have never experienced it before. On top of all that, taking sails up and down, dealing with a torn rope or something else… I admire the Captain and also Kruiser for staying calm in challenging situations. For me it meant now, as we like to say in Germany: “Augen zu und durch”, literally, close your eyes and get through with it. Hopefully the reward will come. So, that’s the memory I have from Santa Barbara. I was able to grab my Computer in the evening, have a little alone time over a glass of wine in a restaurant with shitty Wifi. It took me abut 2 hours to upload a 2min Video clip on youtube, but being able to write about our experience here is somehow like a little therapy session. And maybe somebody along the way will have some similar experiences and find some comfort in these words, that would be cool.
  • The next morning Kruiser and the Captain went for a little surf and I went with Mats and Noah for a walk, grabbed some more ice and beer for the next passage. At noon we headed out with a day and a night sail ahead of us… hurray!

2 thoughts on “Santa Barbara and a little break down”

  1. awesome Tanja. Don’t be too hard on yourself. You are doing great and there is nothing to be ashamed off. These are new unknown adventures and it’s completely normal to have to process them, get used to the new, sometimes fearful part. Looks like to me you are getting the hang of it looking at the bright side and the fun of this wonderful adventure. Soon you will be an old hand at this and people will be jealous for all the great stuff you get to do. Can’t wait to see you in Baja 😄😄😄

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